What Abraham-Hicks Gets Wrong (And A Bunch of Things They Get Right)

When I first discovered Abraham-Hicks and the Law of Attraction teachings wayyy back in 2018, I felt like I'd found the spiritual equivalent of a cypher for every single one Taylor Swift’s easter eggs. Like any spiritual novitiate, I squeeled, “yes please” and began to recite their teachings and affirmations like the overachieving Teacher’s Pet that I am.

Copy-paste straight into my brain.

Imagine my shock when memorizing all of Abraham-Hicks’s guidance didn’t actually work?

And by work, I mean that none of the guidance I’d memorized and was “practicing” felt like me and gave me the real results I was looking for (the swoon-worthy-Mr.-Darcy-esque partner, the fresh and beguiled confidence to wake up in the morning and grin in the mirror like the face wash commercials, the boss-babe-light-your-soul-on-fire first corporate job).

The Law of Attraction proclaims that when you align your energy with the vibration of your desire, it will come to you. All you need to do is surrender. Esther Hicks has been very prolific, channeling the teachings of Abraham (hence the name Abraham-Hicks) into nine published books.

When I first read the teachings, I thought manifesting my dreams was as simple as rearranging my thoughts, writing down an elaborately specific list, and trusting the Universe to deliver.

Spoiler alert: Manifesting is not as simple as clicking your sparkly heals three times and muttering an elaborate incantation.

In my quest to discover how to actually magnetize my dreams into my life, I begrudgingly (and then gratefully) discovered that there's a certain level of nuance missing in the guidance of Abraham-Hicks. And that missing link is the real world application. So, here are my personal hot takes on how to manifest in way that feels really, truly, intuitively right to you.

Abraham-Hicks Teaching: "What you think and how you feel is always a perfect vibrational match to what you are attracting. If you want something different, change your focus."

Ashley’s Take: Not exactly…

…and this could be interpreted as veering dangerously into victim-blaming territory and ignores very real systemic barriers that impact people's lives. Big no no.

The key isn't changing your focus—it's developing a loving relationship with all parts of yourself. While you have agency in your life, you're not responsible for other people's choices or actions, nor for the systemic advantages or disadvantages you were born into.

True vibrational match happens when you build a foundation of inner safety and genuine self-compassion. It’s when you can feel icky and heavy things AND still magnetize happiness, joy, abundance, and prosperity.

When you learn to love every single part of yourself (the light, the shadow, and the in-between), you create such a strong relationship with yourself that anything not meant for you simply slides off, like oil and water.

Abraham-Hicks Teaching: "The universe isn’t responding to your words; it’s responding to your vibration. Feel it first, and then it will come."

Ashley's Take: Yes, but...

…let's get crystal clear about what "vibration" really means—it's your messy, beautiful relationship with yourself, both conscious and unconscious. Think of it like a cosmic cha-cha slide between your chatty everyday awareness and the mysterious, wise parts of you that operate behind the scenes in your unconscious.

What blocks most people while manifesting isn't their "low vibration," but disconnection from their raw, authentic self.

Having an aligned vibration isn't about being perfect or relentlessly positive all the time—it's about embracing your whole, wonderfully imperfect self. When you build this kind of radically honest relationship with all parts of yourself, manifestation flows naturally from that unshakeable foundation of self-understanding.

Abraham-Hicks Teaching: “You never get it done, and you cannot get it wrong. Life is supposed to be fun: you are creator, you are a focusing mechanism, and you are here in an environment that is very conducive to that. When you get hold of an idea, play it out for the pleasure in it.”

Ashley’s Take: Yes!

Success isn't a one-size-fits-all destination—it's your own wild and wonderful journey. When you're exploring uncharted territory (which, let's be real, is most of life), you get to intuitively craft your own rulebook to success and joyful living.

Imagine you’re the Cooper Raiff of your very own award-winning indie film—sometimes you're shooting gorgeous golden hour scenes, other times you're knee-deep in a script edits because it’s just not translating. Both are part of the masterpiece of your life.

The magic happens when you stop trying to follow someone else's script and start trusting your intuitive inner compass to guide your choices and experience.

Abraham-Hicks Teaching: "Your work isn’t to make it happen. Your work is to relax into the receiving mode and let it come."

Ashley’s Take: Kind of???

This isn’t the Disney+’s Live Action reboot of Rapunzel where you just need to let down your hair and wait for your manifestations to climb up. The Universe also isn’t your knight in shining armor and "receiving mode" isn't code for passive princess energy.

Your dreams don't just appear on silver platters because you wished really hard. You DO still have to take action.

"Relaxing into receiving mode" is actually code for the active practices of doing the work to regulate your nervous system and build enough self-trust to discern what you want, why you want it, and how you want to make it happen, moment-by-moment.

Interaction Institute for Social Change | Artist: Angus Maguire.

On top of that, there are very real intersectional (aka how different social categories like race, class, gender, and sexual orientation overlap to create systems of oppression or privilege) barriers that the majority of people face. To say "just receive" isn't just oversimplified—it can be complicit in blaming people for their lack of success on circumstances shaped by centuries of systemic injustice.

So, learn to regulate, trust, and take action—but also recognize that creating real and lasting change requires collective action, unlearning, and relearning from everyone, not just those facing the steepest climb.

Abraham-Hicks Teaching: "Your emotions are your guidance system. If it feels good, you’re moving toward what you want. If it feels bad, you’re resisting it.”

Ashley’s Take: Yes and no…

…your emotions are like text messages from your nervous system—important intel that needs decoding, not just an auto-reply. Sometimes that gut-punch feeling of extreme grief and rage when you're about to hit send on a pitch email isn't telling you to trash it—it's your inner wisdom asking you to pause and get curious.

Maybe, your Younger Self is hitting the panic button because of that time in third grade when your crush read your Valentine’s Day card out loud to the entire class and everyone whispered about how embarrassing your poem was for the next three weeks. Even though you know you’re not in third grade anymore and it feels right to send the email, your Younger Self is still activating the no good, very bad feelings.

Sometimes, what feels good is keeping you in your safety zone and away from what you want. Self-sabotage can feel good. Vices feel good. Other times, what feels bad is actually just personal growth that feels a lot like exfoliating your psyche with a cactus to make room for more of what feels good.

Finding true alignment isn't about chasing dopamine hits—it's about taking the intentional time to learn your body's unique language and trusting yourself to decipher your truth and best next steps when it whispers "yes, but scared" versus screams "nope, block and delete.”

Abraham-Hicks Teaching: "Worrying is rehearsing the vibration of what you don’t want. Shift your focus, and reality will shift with you."

Ashley’s Take: Ummm, not really…

… telling yourself to "stop worrying" rarely, if ever, works—typically, you just start worrying about the fact that you’re worrying. Commence 93-minute spiral.

Your mind isn’t the enemy and, more often than not, it has very legitimate worries. That doesn’t make them true. In order to debunk and compassionately reframe, you need to take time to listen to the worries that are coming up.

That’s what shifting your focus is—going from “I am my worried thoughts” to “a part of me is really worried and I want to show up so that I can feel aligned and good in this moment.” That minuscule step has profound effects.

When you build a solid relationship with yourself, it becomes legit second nature to approach yourself with understanding and compassion and make clear and aligned decisions. That intuitive and intentional presence is what triggers the shift in focus. It’s what changes the way you view your current circumstance and empowers you into aligned action, thus transforming your reality.

Abraham-Hicks Teaching: "Surrender isn’t about giving up; it’s about trusting that what you want is on its way."

Ashley’s Take: Yes, AND…

Sometimes, surrendering to The Universe IS giving up. It’s giving up all of your fear, shame, limiting beliefs, control-freak tendencies, and need to understand all of the minute details before you take any action. And sometimes, that means realizing that what you were originally chasing isn’t actually aligned with you anymore.

Why? Because you’ve grown and evolved like you’re supposed to.

This is why identifying your values and building a relationship of trust with yourself is so important. When you know why you want to move to NYC (for more art, cultural events, and diversity in the dating pool), you realize that just because the job fell through doesn’t mean you can’t add more vibrancy to your life.

Maybe you can go to more gallery openings and Broadway musicals in your current city. Maybe you just need to apply to get back on LinkedIn and apply to different jobs in NYC. Or maybe you’re meant in with your bestie in Tribeca without a job in place. Or maybe you’re about to get an offer and move to London instead.

True surrender is making intentional decisions for your present while also having faith in the future unknown. When you have confidence in yourself, listen to your intuition, and trust The Universe, you will always make aligned decisions and take best next step. And sometimes, that means giving up so a new and even better path can be presented to you.

If you learn anything from my very messy and totally imperfect journey over the last 5+ years as an Intuitive Guide, Coach, Healer, and Reader, let it be this:

Nuance is key and that developing your own process is the difference between calmly and confidently navigating your life and one breath away from a full-blown spiritual psychosis menty-b (not fun, do NOT recommend).

Using and trusting your intuition isn’t about following someone else's spiritual rulebook or forcing yourself into a particular manifestation method.

It's about learning to trust the wisdom that's already within you—the one that’s messy, beautiful, and completely unique to who you are.

When you give yourself permission to get into the mess of living life on your own terms and crafting your own experience with the help of your intuition, everything truly starts to get a little bit easier. It means making decision that are for you in a process that you’ve designed to work with you instead of against you—even if that means journaling at midnight instead of 5AM.

First step is deepening your trust in your intuition (and all five Spiritual Parts of You). Curious where you are on the six-stage journey? Take the free 30-sec quiz here.