When it comes down to it, forced change < chosen change.

It’s because when you have a choice, you have control and options.

Unfortunately, the most infuriating truth I’ve realized as a professional intuitive guide, psychic, coach, and healer is that no one can, without a shred of doubt, predict the future.

But there is a pattern to it.

Sure, some highly talented intuitives and psychics are pretty freaking spot on in their prophecies and omens, almost as if they’re straight out of biblical fantasy, but no one knows for certain.

No, the insight that they share and their full body goose bump accuracy is all retrospective.

There’s no book of dates and times with what’s going to happen and when.

And for years (and sometimes even still 🤫) this makes me want to scream.

Access to such a book would be so nice and also, I do think it would take the true enjoyment and, honestly, the humanity out of life.

Because if you or I really knew the future, the assumption is that we could avoid catastrophe, pain, trauma, heartbreak, and any facet of discomfort we humans might experience.

Yet, it turns out the whole point of being human is to move through the full spectrum of emotion and possibility and to be transformed by it.

Discomfort can be jet fuel to your personal growth if you choose so.

Yes, this includes getting your heart ground to pieces when your He Who Will Not Be Named Ex dumps you 2 days before leaving for your first winter holiday together.

Yes, this includes getting fired effective immediately from your first job in front of all your colleagues because you accidentally sent out a company wide DM roasting the CEO, which was actually supposed to go to your work bestie.

Yes, this includes having to find a new home T minus 10 days because an upstairs pipe literally blew to smithereens, flooded your whole apartment, and ruined all of your belongings in the process.

So what on this glorious green earth are you to do then?
You find your choice in these, to put it nicely, deeply unfortunate situations.

The more agency you have when change arrives at your doorstep, the more empowered you feel and confident you are that everything is really working out in your favor.

It turns out, even though you can’t predict the specifics of the future, there is a repeating pattern, a cycle if you will, to change that you can harness to actively dance with life instead of just passively responding to it.

Every unexpected banana in your path becomes a portal to your dreams when you learn to embrace the cycle of transformation.

You find profound clarity and an unwavering sense of confidence in yourself and the absolute radiance of the future when you learn and then embrace the cycle and its four phases.

I would know. I’ve seen proof in my life over and over again. I’ve also seen my clients learn to embrace it and be completely mind-blown at the fulfillment, excitement, and ease that swirls into their life.

Not only do they just feel better and more excited about their future, but they are more resilient, trusting and decisive in their choices, and willing to take leaps of faith.

Like quitting their soul-sucking job only to find their dream job one week later.

Like getting engaged to their love of their life after feeling insecure and uncertain just weeks before.

Like going from feeling uncertain of their worth to giving an absolutely inspiring TedTalk.

By learning and embracing the cycle and its four phases, you remember that you always have agency, you always have choice, and your future really just might be even more magical than your wildest imagining.

You see, it’s this active participation in these phases that turns infuriating change into wondrous transformation.

THE CYCLE OF TRANSFORMATION

It appears all around us. Literally everywhere.

You just have to look and observe life to see it. Looping and spiraling around and around and around.

Humans have studied the cycle of transformation since the dawn of time. I might argue that every culture, group, and religion has its own version with its own stages. Even the process of evolution is in its own way is just the cycle of transformation.

Not to sound too philosophical, but after all, it is the cycle of life.

There are countless different takes and perspective on each phase. This is mine.

Phase 1: The Void

phase of the moon: New Moon

Phase of the Butterfly Life Cycle: The Egg

Season: Winter

Archetype of a Woman’s Life: Crone

phase of the Menstrual: Menstruation

Numerology: 0, 1, 10

Stage of Learning: I don’t know, I don’t know

The Void phase is both the ending and the beginning, which are really one and the same. In this way, it’s also the phase of endless and pure possibility.

The Void is ripe with potential and when really, you can create anything.

Since these is endless possibility, The Void is also deeply connected to the all of the vast and unknown secrets of the universe.

Which also means that nothing is certain and nothing is promised.

In the Void, one is just observing and existing.

Like a baby watching a mobile go round and round, learning shapes for the first time, their eyes blown open wide, just taking it all in.

It might also feel a lot like you’re waiting at the DMV, wondering when your number will finally be called.

There isn’t direction yet because you are in the moment of not having yet landed into the new phase you’re entering into.

You know that feeling when you move to a city and you just simply have no mental map? When everything feels new, kind of scary, and disorienting? That’s the Void.

How to know you’re in it:

You feel completely disoriented
You’re kind of detached, thinking to yourself, “Does anything matter? What is happening?”
You feel exhausted, tired, or sluggish
You don’t feel like you have any strong opinions
You want to be alone and by yourself
You feel weightless and disoriented
Nothing really makes sense
You’re not sure what comes next

What to do:

There’s nothing really to do in this phase other just exist and notice this discomfort (and bliss) of uncertainty and infinite possibility. Rest. Take time to yourself to just experience all the feelings, thoughts, and observations. Do not make meaning out of any of it. This is a time to just exist, notice, and float. Release all expectations. Sit with hope. Do anything that brings you joy. Go into nature or stay at home. Wherever you feel safe, whatever feels nurturing to you, do that. Be patient with yourself.

Moment of shift:

When you accept that life doesn’t operate on your timeline, a spark within you lights. This spark is one of hope and inspiration, which gives direction. It’s in the surrender and awakening that you shift to the next phase in the cycle of transformation.

Phase 2: The GROWTH

Phase of the Moon: Waxing Moon

Phase of Butterfly Life Cycle: The Caterpillar

Season: Spring

Phase of the Menstrual Cycle: Follicular

Archetype of a Woman’s Life: Maiden

Stage of Learning: I know, I don’t know

Numerology: 2, 3, 4

The Growth phase is a time of devouring, rapid growth, and deep learning. It’s also marked by growing pains because you only really learn anything by doing, failing, and then doing it differently, repeatedly.

There is a single-minded focus about this phase, too. There’s an obsessive nature about it and a honed focus. Like a hound on a scent or your first love.

Even if the end goal isn’t clear, the intention (what you’re following) and the desire (what you want most) are.

And like a toddler learning to walk, a teenager going through their bones stretching and the waves of hormonal demons during puberty, things feel foreign. It’s exciting. It’s weird. There is a deep curiosity about this phase and a naivete to consequence.

There is also rapid discovery in the Growth phase (about the self and about the world).

In that, there’s also a sense of awe and bliss.

How to know you’re in it:

You want to learn about everything
You’re out of your comfort zone
You’re constantly changing your mind
You’re moving through new experiences that you’re not quite sure how to respond to
You feel like you keep effing up
You want to try new things that you “don’t normally do”
Looking in the mirror and saying, “Who is she?”
Feeling energized and motivated
You’re deeply curious about everything

What to do:

This is a great time to sign up for a class or head to your local library. Strap on your training wheels or don’t, completely up to you. Journal about the a-ha moments that are arriving via the overnight express at your door. Do things that feel… out of character. Let yourself off the hook. Make a mood board of your dreams and suspend possibility for a moment. Ask yourself “What if?” If it feels like you’re still uncertain, you’re on the right track. Take time to figure out what kind of life you want to be building and who you want to try on being. What would be like the coolest to experience? If you could wave a magic wand, what would you want to happen? Speed up, slow down, speed back up again.

Run, fall, and get back up and then keep running.

Moment of shift:

When you accept that you can learn as much as you can but you can never learn everything, there is deep sense of excitement and wonder that follows. It’s the deep sense of presence and connection to you’re body and self-permission to fully experience who you’re becoming that triggers the transition into the next phase in the cycle of transformation.

Phase 3: The Peak

Gemma Sapientiae et Prudentiae, 18th century.

Phase of the Moon: Full Moon

Season: Summer

Numerology: 5,9

Phase of Butterfly Life Cycle: The Cocoon

Phase of the Menstrual Cycle: Ovulation

Archetype of a Woman’s Life: Mother

Stage of Learning: I know, I know

The Peak phase is the height of the transformation cycle. It’s the moment when you are emotionally, physically, experientially, spiritually, and mentally bursting.

As a result, there’s a rapid flood of emotion and sensation.

The Peak is… intense. Either joyously or devastatingly so.

The Peak might be an external event, like an engagement, a breakup, a promotion, a death of a loved one, graduation from college, or the loss of a job.

It also might be something more internal, like a start realization about who you really are and what you really want.

Like realizing you’re actually attracted to the same sex, you’re really psychic, you actually hate your career path, or that you’re worthy of everything you want no matter what.

It’s this contrast of stark opposites that defines The Peak. High highs and low lows. Often, both at the same time.

Like the moment in the book when the plot twist hits and she sleeps with the love interest she’s been pining after for 200 pages, only for him to tell her he’s engaged to someone else. Everything simultaneously comes together and falls apart.

Like the biggest drop on a rollercoaster when your stomach feels like it’s in your throat and you scream with pleasure and terror.

How to know you’re in it:

A deep sense of grief, an overwhelming feeling of joy, or a deep sense of confusion about what to do now that you have what you wanted.
You’re either having high highs or low lows
You’re overwhelmed
Pure excitement or pure chaos (or both)
There’s an unexpected surprise
You keep asking yourself, “Is any of this is worth it??”
You feel like it’s too good to be true
Your life feels full and there’s no extra room

What to do:

There’s nothing left to study and everything now to feel and just experience. Give yourself over to it. Ride it. Fully commit to the intensity of the experience. It’s going to shift, so whatever it is, enjoy this moment. You are deeply and truly alive. Surrender to the experience. This means doing whatever feels most supportive of you in the moment. Journaling can be wonderful to mark the moment of time or pour it out of you. Meditation, cardio, or traveling are also beautiful. Take a leap of faith.

Moment of shift:

When you fully grasp that this moment too shall pass, you allow yourself to embrace the present moment. It’s this surrender to divine timing and the uncontrollable nature of life that allows for the transition into the next phase in the cycle of transformation to begin.

Phase 4: The Learning

Phase of the Moon: Waning Moon

Phase of Butterfly Life Cycle: The Butterfly

Season: Fall

Phase of the Menstrual Cycle: Luteal

Numerology: 6, 7, 8

Archetype of a Woman’s Life: Enchantress

Stage of Learning: I don’t know, I know

The Learning phase is the moment when you process and deeply reflect on everything that you’ve learned and experienced. At its core, it’s the time for integration, personal meaning making, and sharing. And there’s no better way to figure out if you’ve learned anything than teaching.

These understandings are one-of-a-kind and the representation of personal and collective growth.

Like when humans finally accepted that the Earth and then had to figure out how to incorporate a complete shift in how they navigated the seas, made maps, and calculated the stars moving.

It’s also the phase when the true work of the cycle of transformation can be visibly and externally witness and you form your own opinions.

It’s the moment after you get the dream job and you realize why you had to go through five years of utter hell in your last one.

The Learning phase is when the dust settles in your life and there’s the space to notice and reflect on what’s shifted, both inside and outside so you can realize who you truly are and you can see with beautiful and stark honesty what you’ve transformed into.

How to know you’re in it:

You feel like you want to talk about everything that you’ve been through and who you are now
You feel more comfortable in your skin, like you don’t have to try and you can just be
You feel zapped, tired, and less interested in doing and reflecting
You keep saying, “You know, in hindsight…” or “Retrospectively…”
You want to enjoy and just move through your life
You’re ready to take next steps
A sense of indifference to other people’s perspectives and insights
You are deeply introspective and reflective
You keeping having “Ohhh…” and “aha!” moments

What to do:

Keep a journal to write down these moments of clarity (you’re going to want to remember them). Decide what matters most to you in your life and how you want to view the Peak you’ve just experienced. Take a bath. Go on vacation. Phone a friend or start a blog. Meditate. Go to a party and strut your stuff. Do anything and everything that makes you feel deeply connected to and liberating being you.

Moment of shift:

When you realize what’s most to you in your life, you decide what you are willing to leave behind. This pruning process is necessary to create space for the next phase in the Cycle of Transformation to begin. After all, when one door closes, another one opens.

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As I’ve moved through these phases in my own life over and over again, I’ve found that there is always one part of my life that is constant—my trust in myself and my intuition.

The anchor they provide is what allowed me to not just scream and take off faster than you can say “Boo!” when change barreled through my front door, but to welcome it and say, “Okay, let’s begin.”

Don’t get me wrong, there definitely still is a good amount of crying and bargaining with a higher power, but my trust in intuition has given me a lifeline to know that not only will I get through this cycle of transformation, but it will help thrive.

It’s this relationship and true knowing of who I am that allows me to work with (instead of against) the parts of me that kick, run, hide, plead, and scream.

You see, at the end of the day, I know I have the choice of how to move through change and harness it.

I allow it to transform my life into something even more magnificent, beautiful, and liberating.

So even when I feel stuck, I know I’m not. Even when I don’t know what to choose, I know what to do. Even when I’m angry and grieving, I know what I can do to move through this phase and into a new beginning.

It’s this knowledge and faith that gives me the strength (and the giddy thrill) of embracing whatever life throws at me.

Navigating The Cycle of Transformation