Embrace the Chaos, It Will Make You More Intuitive (Stage 4, 5, and 6 of Intuitive Development)
It turns out Miley Cyrus was right — in order to really trust yourself and your intuition, you need to accept that nobody’s perfect.
Even better, humans truly despise perfection. Just look to the Uncanny Valley for proof.
Humans love the raw, the messy, and the flawed — it’s how we know what’s real and what’s some weird sound bite the Instagram gurus learned on their Tibetan yoga retreat.
The more you commit to learning by messing it up and getting it wrong, the more confident you’ll actually start to be that you do and will continue to trust that intuitive knowing.
You see, resistance, discomfort, doubt, and uncertainty are low-key THE KEY to not only trusting your intuition more, but profoundly trusting yourself.
When you hit the next three stages of intuitive development — The Observer, The Student, and The Believer — everything you’ve learned gets kicked into high gear.
Like playing Candy Crush, first you learn the rules of the game and then game gets a tad bit harder so you can figure out how well you know them.
[For a little pre-show recap, read about the First Three Stages of Intuitive Development]
It’s not as simple as just listening to Abraham Hicks Affirmations on repeat and just thinking happy thoughts like Peter, John, and Wendy learning to fly to Neverland.
Sure, existential pixie dust would be grand but only if it’s in the pursuit of accepting all parts of yourself versus control-alt deleting them faster than the internet can generate a new meme that starts a counter-culture revolution.
I once had a therapist tell me that knowing what I’m feeling is a completely different skill versus feeling my feelings.
ANNOYING!!!
Apparently, if I actually wanted to reach the enlightened state of being as I’ve been doggedly chasing since I was fifteen ad some rando adult told me It Gets Better™️, I had to dunk myself in the sparkly and shadowy feels of my past, present, and future.
All I could think was, “Great!! Thanks so much but how? When? Because this sucks, and I want it to be better now, not in 10+ years.”
I wanted to grab the magic cosmic clicker and skip to the good part but my therapist dolled out the cold hard truth as I was curled up on her lumpy purple couch.
If you just keep intellectualizing everything, you’re going to keep feeling stuck.
You need to face all of the sticky feelings you’re actively and intentionally avoiding for the patterns to dilute and the good part to begin.
Just because you know what you’re supposed to do doesn’t mean it’s the most authentic and empowering way for you to do it.
Reader, the answers I was seeking lived inside everything I was avoiding.
Like trusting myself and what I felt was right for me.
And that my friends, broke my brain more than One Direction’s break up.
If you want to get better at trusting your intuition, you have to stop thinking so hard and just start failing forward.
It’s okay to be wrong and to not know what you want. It’s actually the only way you get better at anything in life.
When you know what you don’t know, you know what you’re ready to learn.
So really, having not a single clue is the best place to be. It’s the spiritual equivalent to pre-work out. You’re primed and ready to juice up your energy and strengthen your intuition. Like Agatha Harkness without all the spooky death and destruction.
The more you learn, the more you realize that virtually no one has the answers on how to actually make the dream life your escape into in all states of consciousness happen.
It’s up to you to conjure your own map, craft and tune your cosmic compass, and forge out into the unknown.
Stage Four—The Observer: Untangling all the shoulds, woulds, and coulds of success and to uncover what you really want.
At this stage, you've realized everyone's just Jenga-ing their way through life, microdosing their intuition as they go.
As the Observer, you've mastered trusting your gut with the small stuff—lavender matcha or hazelnut cold brew, hot yoga or watching Friends re-runs. You know your intuitive yes (what feels calmly right) from your intuitive no (what simply doesn't).
But the big decisions? That's where trusting gets sticky. Career pivots, relationship shifts, life-changing moves—these choices are too worrisome for only your intuition. What if it’s wrong? After all, no one wants to headline the family group chat with a plot twist.
Yet, the nudges from your soul just keep getting more insistent, and you’re not sure how much longer your can keep this truer version waiting in the wings.
Should your just stick to the status quo or bet on it (your intuition) and see what happens?
(Maybe Troy Bolton was onto something.)
Let Your Freak Flag Fly
Play with what’s familiar and test out beliefs you’ve had for the longest time.
Do you actually hate asparagus? Maybe you’re a secret morning person. Is it time to get a bob…
Think about your dream alter ego — the one who’s thirty flirty and thriving. Experiment with being her.
Whatever you do, pushes the edges of your comfort zone and let it be seen by others.
If your mind is freaking out, tell it this:
“You are an absolute powerhouse. You are a true visionary.
You are here to lead by example and to show those around you that a different way, a more intuitive, authentic, liberated, kind, and compassionate way of existing in this world is possible.
You are an unstoppable force. You are the proof and the example.”
Make a Five Year Bucket List and Microdose It.
Sit down and right out the most audacious list of activities and accomplishments that drive you to make the most enviable cousin at the fam reunion.
Some of these swoonworthy items are probably a lot more achievable than you currently believe. Write out all the things that would have to happen for you to hit the Staples button and exclaim, “That was easy!”
Then, write down why you want to do them and what else in your life feels like them. Tape them up somewhere you can see. Remember to make it easy, make it specific, make it measurable, make it fun, and make it time-bound. Yes, these are my version of SMART goals.
The point? It’s time to trust-fall on yourself, the Universe, and your grandest wildest dreams. Inside scoop from your Future Self: it’s going to be more magical than you can even imagine.
Carve Out Time to Intentionally Reflect to Realize How Far You’ve Come.
Not only will this feel pretty darn good, you’ll also realize you’re a lot farther down the intuitive road than you think.
It will also illuminate where you wish you had realized you were right, where you betrayed yourself by not believing in her.
This is like kerosene to your soul. Not only will you want to let go of all the old habits and beliefs that just aren’t working, but you’ll also realize you’re already succeeding.
You know your worth, you know what’s possible for you and it is more love, success, wealth, and true success.
Stage Five—The Student: Practicing doing it “wrong” to do it “right”.
At this stage, you're living and breathing by your intuition—fully trusting what feels right and true.
As the Student, you're in experimental mode, throwing cosmic spaghetti at the wall and wondering if you actually might be Rembrandt reincarnated.
Sometimes you're quaking in your boots, but mostly? You're vibing with your astrology chart and quoting “no birth ever happened without a scream” to everyone you encounter mid-a ha moment.
When doubt creeps in, you realign your chakras, declare yourself the baddest bish, and dive back in.
You embrace being a walking contradiction with newfound confidence—being both hard on yourself and surprisingly compassionate. You're choosing to trust yourself, even in uncertainty. You’re realizing it’s all working out for, even when it feels like your world is crumbling.
After all, trusting your intuition is a journey, and you’re immersed in the alchemical process.
Embrace the Art of Self-Reflection Imperfection.
Instead, just live your life so that you enjoy it. Let yourself off the hook and then put yourself back on it. Be in a constant state of temperature testing your soul and yes, the cosmic hot water is fluctuating, you’re not losing it.
Be radically honest with yourself in a way that’s also kind and supportive. You’re succeeding more than you realize so fill your three plus morning (or evening) pages with just as many successes as losses.
You’ll find that you’re being harder on yourself than necessary and that elusive balance is necessary fertilizer for your soul’s dreams.
Prioritize Time with the People Who Get It.
Surrounding yourself with friends and community of people who are also knee deep in intuitive living will keep you sane and moving.
Humans are social creatures. Not sure why the buddy system stopped after third grade but this is now a petition to reinstate it.
The more your surround yourself with other people are also in the thick of learning and growing their intuition, the more calmly confident you will feel as you do it.
These are the people who not only get it but also get you.
Alone time is necessary to recharge but self-isolation is restrictive to growth. Prioritize both, it’s the key to your intuitive freedom.
Embrace Subtle and Nuance Nature of Your Intuition.
Sometimes, intuition is a clear as a poet’s dream day — yes, go full steam ahead and no, walk away as fast as you can.
Often, however, the message is a little more ambiguous and the process of deciphering it’s reminiscent of tweezing out a particularly ill placed wishbone while playing Operation.
Sometimes it’s an intuitive yes, but please work on your confidence and wait until you feel grounded and present to respond.
Sometimes it’s an intuitive no, but don’t engage just gently extract yourself.
And sometimes it’s an intuitive not sure yet, keep waiting and letting yourself explore the concept more.
Remember, there’s not wrong answer and the more you practice, the more nuance you’ll learn.
Do and the ReDo a Spiritual Audit
Life changes. Rapidly. Constantly. Like the quintessential Hallmark card quote, “The only constant is change.”
This means what is intuitively right is going to change. A lot. All the time.
So getting clear on your values and editing what actually feels right based on all the self-discovery you’re doing is essential. Like so good. So important.
Stage Six—The Believer: Just being a human.
Your self-trust and intuitive knowing flow as naturally as breathing now.
Sure, you might still freeze mid-boundary setting with your parents, but mostly? You're just flowing.
After dedicated practice, you've developed a deep trust in both your knowing and not knowing. You've learned to embrace your humanity and found your divinity in it.
From car screaming at red lights to Bravo marathons on Sunday nights to arctic cold plunge mid-week resets to 10-day Tibetan silent retreats, you’re just L I V I N livin’ your best life.
You know when to turn inward and when to seek support. You also give yourself and your process to be in a constant state of change — you accept all and reject none.
And fear? You know it’s just part of being human and it’s more effective to embrace than to run from. And so life becomes an elaborate dance with you the eye of the storm having found ease in the sometimes uncomfortable rhythms of living.
As the Believer, you are at home in who you are and you’re sitting on the edge of your seat to see who you’ll continue to become.
But if life feels off and it feels hard to just be...
Artistic Expression is the New Inner Work.
Now that you've found your intuition and your hotline is pretty fool proof, live it boldly. To some this might appear foolish, but to you it’s liberating. Let life be silly. Lean into the artistic expression that feels right for you. Pick up a new hobby just to be bad at it.
You know there’s so much learning and freedom in being a novice.
Begin Each Day with a New Intention.
Whether it’s grabbing your first ever tarot deck or grabbing a your new favorite fantasy series, give your mind a break by investing in your imagination.
Prioritize Acts of Service.
Lean into your community and your spiritual tools. Every act becomes sacred when it feels like it’s aligned with what gives you purpose.
Let your inner work become a ripple effect by serving others as you've been served.
It will remind you of what’s important and give your existential crisis as you witness the insurmountable mountain of human progression. Small acts have a bigger impact than you can imagine. How revolutionarily fabulous.
Boogie with the Sacred Cycle’s of Life.
What once felt like a broken radio in your mind now guides your way like Sirius in the night sky.
Your old limits have become your greatest teachers and your new struggles your closest friends. You have the power to embrace any intuitive roadblock transform it into a bridge.
You’re playing spiritual Mario Kart and Rainbow Road has somehow become your personal favorite. Masochistic? More like authentically synchronistic.
The ending is always a beginning and the same silence that birthed you welcomes you home again – but now you see it through new eyes.
Embrace the Chaos to Have a Nice Time.
Sometimes that avoiding the chaos at all costs by sitting in silence without judgement, observing to go forth.
And sometimes that means embracing it with open arms and sprinting out the front door to dance in the celestial storm.
Just do what feels best for you in that moment and enjoy the process in whatever way makes you feel most alive.
Life isn’t ever going to stop life-ing after all so much as well enjoy the ride.
So here’s the sneaky plot twist: the stages of intuitive aren’t fixed and you will fluctuate between all six.
This intuitive fluctuation is a sign of success.
There will continue to be cosmic plot twists that have you running and questioning if anything is real.
Being intuitive does not mean you get to skip grades in Earth School just because you’re brilliant (which you are).
No, life will continue to happen and the question becomes how you will meet it when it does.
While there might not be right answers, there’s always a process to craft in cahoots with your intuition as you wade through the great unknown.
You are a cosmic onion so embrace it.
Each stage you climb will unpeels old layers of your consciousness and thrust you back into the pot. Trusting your intuition means embracing cyclical living and you’ll often just end up feeling like you've entered into a groundhog’s day vortex.
Not to fret! Just recommit to trusting yourself and relaxing into the present moment.
Unfortunately (or fortunately), unless you move to a Tibetan Monestary, you’re never going to truly escape hardship or find the one right answer that will fix all your problems forever and ever.
(And if you do, please email me exactly how you did it.)
Having all the tools won’t keep you from never feeling lost or out of it ever again—they help you craft a new process that make you really want to cackle whenever the Universe’s jump scares you.
Sure, avoiding every single roadblock or crash seems grand but it would also take away the experience of being human.
The more you trust your intuition, the more you’ll trust yourself so that no matter what life throws at you, you’ll know you can make it through it.
The truth is: trusting your intuition means making snap decisions in real time even when it makes no sense.
It might feel like you’re just shaking a Magic 8 Ball at the Universe and trusting that it will respond.
Just because you run into a downed tree doesn’t mean that your trusting spiritual GPS is faulty or broken—it just means that being alive means that stuff happens outside of your control sometimes (often).
It’s about avoiding as many roadblocks as you can and knowing how you want to proceed when you hit the ones you could have never predicted.
This is the learning process that the second half of the intuitive development journey addresses.